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Alice

“I’m trying to be an actor.  Right now I’m on the way to a call back, which is good.  But it’s for a low budget promo video.  And the day rate only applies to the shoot.  Even if I get it, it’ll barely be minimum wage.  And that’s a problem.  Because I don’t have one of these situations where my parents are comfortable.  I can’t just go home and take a break from the world.  Everyone in our family has to chip in, so I’m not able to go very long without a paycheck.  There have been periods where I’ve stopped auditioning for months while I work another job.  It’s been years of not being fully in one thing or another.  I’m 36 now, and I’m in the same place I was when I was 28.  Living paycheck-to-paycheck.  Living with roommates.  Not much changing in my lifestyle.  So I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions.  Can I afford to still be in this place when I’m 44?  Do I even want this enough to stay in the hustle?  Does anyone deserve something they won’t go after 100 percent?  And if the answer is ‘no,’ what does that mean for someone like me, who doesn’t have the stability or confidence to go after anything 100 percent?”